DEEP THOUGHTS ON SWINGING

So, the weekend before last we went to the Swinger's Club. And we saw the most action, up close and personal that we have seen there to date.

We have toyed with all kinds of scenarios, from threesomes to same room sex. I think that we have concluded that full blown swinging is not our thing. We are both too possessive, too needy, too damaged by our spouses to invite the potential issues into our relationship that swinging can bring. We have no desire to see each other with other people.

The idea of another woman has been toyed with, I think that with the right person and under the right circumstances that this could work. It would take a lot of prep work though, rules, expectations, goals, etc. It certainly could not be something taken lightly by either of us.

Same room sex is something that I think we could and would do in a heartbeat if the other couple seemed like a good fit and all were in agreement on the situation. We both like the idea of watching and being watched, and this seems like something that we would both find really hot.

So, when we were at the Swinger's club, there were a few different scenarios happening, and we were right in the middle of them. Fully clothed, non-participating, spectators. I liked watching female on female oral. I liked close up penetration views. I liked watching blow jobs. I liked watching boobs being played with by men or women.

I liked being around people that are so comfortable in their own skin. Seeing different bodies and appreciating them all.

I liked the sexually charged vibe that was around us.

And I liked that for us, it was foreplay. It was a great way for us to get REALLY turned on, and then devour each other.

However, what I liked the absolute MOST, now that I have had a week to think about it, was how I feel when I am in an environment like that with Steven.

I feel VERY safe. Safer than I have ever felt with anyone before.

The way his hands are always on me, whether around my waist, holding my hand, touching my arm. Feeling his presence puts me at ease. I appreciate the fact that he confidently can interact with people, and I have no fears of him getting us into a situation that I wouldn't want. I love that he knows what is okay, and what isn't, and we respect each other completely. I love that I feel taken care of, adored, and that it is always a JOINT experience.

Some of the women were there with men that were obviously really just into everything BUT their woman. I like that Steven and I can look at other people, appreciate the situation TOGETHER, but he isn't getting his kicks from THEM, we are getting them TOGETHER.

We are 10 months into this relationship. I don't think we will ever become sexually bored or in a rut. We are just such highly sexual people! And I love that we talk about ideas and scenarios and fantasies, and that they change. What I would have done 6 months ago is different today. I am *almost* certain that full fledged swinging won't become a part of US. However, I think that there are things we have talked about and haven't done, things we haven't discovered, and adventures to be had! The bottom line is that whatever we do, we do as a team, and we do it because we BOTH have something to gain from it.

I am growing into my own authentic sexual self, and that is fun. It is fun to have such a perfect match as a partner that is helping me to do this!